Mindless Spillings of Insanity

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 19:47:15 GMT

I had an entry almost done. Firefox loves me and saves the things that I type usually...but for some reason it didn't this time and the power went out and fried a bunch of our stuff, including our DSL modem (see, Mom, we need to switch to FIOS, which I don't even think is an option in this area still) so we did not have Internet for a few days.

I dropped Joey off at Jarrod's on Sunday, Jarrod and I actually talked. Just about Joey, computers, and school, which I was told was "boring" but rather typical of our conversations, the only addition is politics sometimes. He started working yesterday.

My favorite is looking for a new job. I'm part of the reason...the whole not wanting to date a co-worker...and we probably will end up dating. He's been quite affectionate lately. We sit in this one guy's van on break and he's been sitting in the back and if I'm in the middle when no one is looking he's rubbing my shoulders and whatnot. Sometimes I sit in the back to make room and we hold hands and whatnot under a jacket. The one day we convinced the van's owner to wear Joey's construction helmet and drive us around the parking lot while we sat in the back. We ducked down to "hide" from one of the more annoying people and while we were there he got rather ballsy and kissed me.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:34:53 GMT

Hi.

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:35:50 GMT

I'm overloaded.
I'll see you all in about two weeks when classes are over, projects are done, papers are written, and there are no more tests to study for. If I'm fortunate I may be able to steal some time here and there, but we'll see. I have two programs to write and they take a bit to write and fixing the errors takes ten times as long. (And those programs are just a tiny dent in the amount of work that I actually have.)

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:54:57 GMT

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=276215517
myspace is back

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 18:32:01 GMT

Yeah, so my ass this is all hypothetical but let's pretend like it is.
Can an fairly inexperienced male (read: Pokemon-playing, 4chan-visiting geek, not much ass ever and nothing, um, interesting) who admits to being needy in a relationship sleep with a girl whom he's known his entire lifetime and not become attached? What if both guy and girl admitted to their horrible relationship habits right up front?
What if their horrible relationship habits may end up making a good match without major problems? (read: they're both needy though girl hasn't admitted that's the main issue to him yet and they end relationships because the other isn't paying enough attention).

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:03:15 GMT

One hour after they were done.

Today, one day old.

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 02:10:48 GMT

DJ slacker again. :\

So.
Yeah.
I think I'm falling in love. Like it started to happen last night. I went over to Josh's and we watched Cult of the Damned AKA Angel, Angel Down We Go because I finally freaking own it, after three years of wanting this movie, and after I went to the bathroom. When I came back he was sitting in the dark living room playing his guitar and he started singing. I sat there completely mesmerized by him. I was sad when he stopped. I was also really sad to go home.

But I don't want that mess again. I don't know if I can have him or not.

I posted this in my blog over on myspace today.

I half want you to come read this and I'm half nervous about you reading this.
You sort of intimdate me and I actually kind of like it. I like you a lot and it makes me nervous and I'm not sure how to act around you half of the time and I feel like I'm in middle school or something again. I know most of the stuff that comes out of my mouth ends up awkward-sounding or stupid. I don't feel intelligent unless we're sitting down and talking for awhile and my comfort level goes up a bit and I can somewhat function again.

As we sat there in the dark last night while you played your guitar and sang I was mesmerized. You know I have a super-short attention span but I couldn't stop watching or listening to you. I think you're crazy-awesome. I wish that I could compliment you more, but you make me so darn nervous that I can't say a lot of things. I just said darn. Hahaha.

A part of me wants to post a bulletin saying "hey if I hung out with you at all recently you may want to check my blog" or something equally as lame, but like I said, I'm also sort of nervous about you finding this. I don't know why, I am. Maybe it's because I don't know if I can even have you or not.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 18:11:58 GMT

I can't concentrate. I honestly turned the fan on last night at work.
Just the thought of possibly, eventually being someone's slave again has me thinking that much.
Deadjournal won't let me change my userpic?! What the hell?!

But seriously. I like need this. I've had no kink since Mike, that's over two years now without any kink.
It's also been two years since I was super-bad-Kim. Yay!
And submitting is something I've seen a pattern of since I was young. My early thoughts and play, there are signs there. It feels right.

Must go get ready to go.

Religion

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 19:01:23 GMT

Today I actually went to church with my family. The old pastor and his family were up visiting, they had to move down south, and they wanted to see Joey. Okay, fine, I'll sit there and be bored for an hour and then eat free food (there was a dinner afterwards).
At this point I honestly have no clue what I believe. I don't know if I believe in one god, multiple gods, just some form of energy, no idea. I was raised to go to church. I was baptised Catholic and attended Catholic school for two years. When my dad remarried we began going to my step mom's Lutheran church. The pastor was a hypocrite and did not practice what he preached so we spent some time looking for a new church before we found the Baptist church (the one that my family belongs to now) when I was in tenth grade. I was always expected to go to church. I went to numerous church activities, I went to teen conferences. I could get caught up in the moment and believe but it faded within a week. I never felt what they spoke of all of the time like they claim to.
At this point in time I have no idea how I plan on raising Joey. I do know that I will not force him to attend any religious activities that may interest me when he is older.

I'm losing my train of thought, maybe I'll come back later.

R.I.P Daddy

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 04:35:34 GMT

RIP Daddy March 16, 1955-April 28, 2005.